A FOE TURNED FRIEND.....

Bingo !! Yelled the host of inhouse Quiz contest in our office. This was to response to “You only live once “  answer She gave . Question was what does YOLO mean ?. I was surprised and shocked  .I had been  writing a blog by that title  since last six years .Was this a sign ? I wondered .Once in lifetime you come across a Soulmate, and destiny shows you a sign to identify your Soulmate. I shrugged my thoughts at first .

Shalini ,my new object of attention was nothing more than a office colleague .I have seen her many times in office .Although we never interacted .She was one of many  girls in office .But today I was seeing her in different light .Sun must be shining on her little more today. I noticed the beautiful smile .the sparkling eyes .how happy she was to get that right .Was she this beautiful or was I blind till now not to notice her .

I always consider myself on wrong side of unfair life .When you are born poor have to make sacrifices starting very young .When other kids were worried about the broken toys ,I would be worried about my school fees . When other kids were worried about college admissions I worried about my Mother life threatening illness. When my colleagues in office were worried about girls in their life I was worried about my dad health. After all was done I find myself single  living alone having lost my parents to illness. Life were no news was a good news for me . I never expected  a favor from destiny .Just wished it didn't bring me any more bad news .

From that day, Office was something else . I just wanted to notice that smile or look into those beautiful eyes . Observe my soulmate as much as I can. There was nothing in my mind except her. She occupied my empty mind . My thoughts and even my dreams were about her .Many times I picked up receiver  to make call to her.  But a good boy in me dismissed those thoughts .It is like sending a friend request to stranger, just because she is beautiful girl . That would sound so cheap was my thought.

I tried to track her . I tried to talk to her in manner which will seem like a coincidence to her .I didn’t want to come across as a flirt .All these demons were mostly in my mind ,but still difficult to control. Being a shy guy held me back.I got my chance at  office cafeteria .She was alone one day.I just striked up the conversation . But it fizzled out .Did she make out the casual conversation was not so casual? I wondered. Beautiful Girls have unique sensor ,they exactly know when some one is trying hit on her .

Days goes by I tired to speak to her more .But she would just respond or I feel so. I was just another guy in office and her reactions to me were not friendly at all.I tried as best as a shy guy can, but you know when someone try to avoid you purposefully ,u have no escape. She was always diplomatic never rejecting you in words . Perhaps I didn’t just exist for her .Her reaction .She doesn’t bother about how I felt .Never emphatic towards the feeling I hold, even if she was aware how I felt.

I was getting no were from a casual conversations rather sometimes getting a silence  treatment  I had lost all hope I tried everything even to extent of avoiding her. But then she didn’t just care. Then came day when just out of frustration I did something so stupid I would have not imagined in my dreams. How a casual conversation went in that direction I didn’t knew. I just asked her why was she so blind towards me .she said that was not the case .I told her in as many words that I liked her but perhaps she didn’t .So there was no need to beat around the bush .I could not see her reaction though the phone. But what the hell I was talking about. I told her that she is free and does not need to pretend ,Life is really short   We didn’t have whole life to decide  and I guessed she had made her decision . There was no need to keep everyone hanging .I told her I always hoped for the best . I wanted to be her best friend . I wanted to hear her  first Good Morning .I wanted to sleep with her Good night & sweet dreams . I wanted to buy flowers for her . I wanted to flirt . I want to hear the lovely song from play list with same ear phone one in each of our ears. I want to hear how was her day was. What happened with her colleagues friends or any one in her life .I wanted to be her punch bag ,I wanted her to be mine ,sometimes. I wanted to hold her hand in comfort . I wanted her to hold my hand in assurance.

As I put my phone down , I was sure that all was lost . My destiny was at it again. Robbing me of person I liked the most .I would not work that day . I just ruined & cursed my lady luck .I was not sure how would I face her after that conversation. When I packed my bags for the day it seemed like a dooms day. It was perfect end of the day you can say ..As I was crossing the road I drew blank after I was hit by coming vehicle .When I opened my eyes, couple of days later in hospital. I would barely move my hands. My family was happy to see me awake .My sister , asked me question you have such a close friend in office ?. I asked Why ?. She told me there was girl, who came to see me everyday .Even when I was not awake .She made it point to see me everyday .I wondered who would be that .

Soon it was a visitors time and in walked Shalini with all smiles to see me .I had no words to say. That sight was better than my dreams . She came and sat beside me .We both were speechless. just staring into each other .sharing with each other the mutual love they had . And then she held my hand ,just like I had imagined . That’s when I realise my destiny ,was a foe turned friend........

WOW ENTRY -11th January 2015.

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Blank Girl

Extracts of my book

Am I invisible or do I have knack to pissing off people? In spite of best efforts  I don’t seem to get through anyone .I guess I come across as arrogant .i expect people to appreciate my interest . if I am obliging them with my attention, they should but of course, fall in line . It is best thing to happen to them. They surely are blind or have really bad taste not to be impressed by my innumerable achievements.

As I write above I realize why, people dispel me. I do come across as arrogant when I am not .I have worked hard for things I have achieved .I don’t flaunt it, it’s a fact .But I think I come across someone who is carving for attention .I realize .my carving for attention makes me look arrogant . my need to be appreciated. Like small baby cries .all he want the attention to be pampered. In my case however it seems like I am selling myself to the world & wants them to bow in awe.

I saw her  one day .She was taking a walk  after lunch . She had sparkle in her eyes ,that sparkle kindled a flicker in my heart .”Wow” that’s what my heart would have said if it had a vocabulary. However numerous people passed through her without even noticing .No one blinked twice. no one turned their head . Blind people I thought. Beauty lies in eyes of beholder. World didn’t stop to appreciate the hazel eyes .

I began to wonder who she was. Did I know her? Did she know me? No, it’s not possible that I could forget someone like her.I gazed at her and wondered if she knew I was there. How would she react if she noticed me?

Thinking they were telling the story of unknown .Thousands of words I would see in her eyes. But only question is for whom they were meant to be .

A girl who likes the depth of thoughts. Does she like reading like me? Does she write too? Does she love it like me?”“Wow, that would be wonderful. ”.“What??? Wait, what the hell I am thinking!”

And then came that moment were everything became standstill, the moment she smiled . Such was innocence in her smile, it was almost a child like .The smile is genuine when your smile reaches your eyes . That very moment she became the most beautiful girl in the world, if not for the world  just for me .It was my world . She looked at me, this time our eyes met for a second and we communicated in a flash of silence. Time become still and I lost myself in her as I read her story

You may be a friendliest person. but when you are to approach a girl you dead shy . I guess your concise teases you to react to your intentions.  You can talk through to most people if you don’t have any intention toward them .If you expect a friendship you become conscious.

So you notice but don’t know how to proceed. Times flew like that till that it was social gathering in office. Antakshari was in full swing. Then she sat beside me .This Interaction was needed to break ice. Then a casual conversation, from her side, broke the ice and my joy knew no bounds. I have another gem of habit. I manage to give creepy feelings to girls if I like them. I had ,on more than one occasion, made no efforts to hide my feelings toward the opposite gender. (The above lines are sarcastically inclined in case you missed it )

The casual conversation grew once I settled in familiar zone,but so called conversation where one sided I passed on more information and received practically none or things which I already knew .This is one more quality I  have speak speak, speak and  just don’t listen . The more information you give better chance she will get impressed (MYTH) .Don’t follow all this funda. I am still single .

 A chance of a platonic relationship is not so motivating .Also I am very bad at making things happen. When I try to be someone friend I fail without fail .try mean to make things happen. Bumping into person on purpose .Trying to be at same place at same time . visiting cafeteria for example. Sometime multiple time just to be there at same time .I have tried giving a print every time my new object of affection was at printer .(Btw It never worked)  but patience is virtue of very few. And I am not one of those chosen few. Destiny is not on my side it just sometime tease me with opportunity ,which I of course blow up most of time.

So I venture into this to make this friendship happen and after couple of missed chances I blew it up how? I don’t know how? But the result said I did .Now she passes by me and don’t even acknowledge my presence … and the cycle continues.

Making it obvious without actually saying it per se scares the person off . I must have known this, but I am not a good flirt. If I was I would not have been writing this… (this para I mean).

I am not a deceiver. I cannot tell you  stories just to make you fall in love . Love is more natural thing. I don’t believe in manipulations either it happens or it doesn’t. Why anyone will have problem with someone who likes them .Only one I guess they don’t like them back .  

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Kyonki Har Ek Friend Zarroori hota hai ………..

Have we ever realised over life consist of phases ,each phase comprises of people who made it special When you remember best moments in your life you remember special people attached to it or responsible for it .So no mater whether they are part of your life now or not they will be always special for bringing that special ,moment in your life .I thank god for existence of such people in my life This is for all such people who made my life special …..

After lot pampering in School ,When I entered this big bad world of college life I met Amogh .I was Shy ,introvert, boring guy to start with in college who hardly had any friends .Mainly because all these years I never felt the need for making any friends, My current friends find this strange don’t believe it but that’s the truth . Amogh was friendly smart funny .so it was not a combination any body would have imagined .but it happened .We were always together both the years of junior college. Most people knew me as Amogh friend and nothing more .He was my social guide & social identity .I didn’t do anything in college out of my own .I only followed Amog and in turn, I helped him during exams .Although we drifted away a bit during degree college ,I always wondered why ?.May be because of the different path we took, he mostly busy in college festivals etc, I doing more boring CA studies .But I know even today we rock whenever we talk.

Thereafter I met Priyanka, the chatter box. It was Amogh who introduced us initially as she was in his Dance group. How & when we became so good friends I don’t know. But yes it was real effortless. Our gang Piyu, Me .Appu (Aparna) hit off like anything .From Rain dance parties, Dinner & movies .Whole College had no work but linking us together .But we never bothered .Even today I remember Dry fruits wala Pav Bhaji we had together .Though I am victim of her endless shopping sphere from trying same shoe at Bandra Linking road from 10 different shops & bargaining at each time to spending 2 hrs at Junk jewellery shop in Raghu Leela mall without buying anything. But all maaf for this Buddy friend .Only we can understand each other senseless sense of humour among other things .Even today she is just shout away.

As I moved toward CA studies ( read from canteen to Library) I made few more friends mainly Ashutosh first & Chetan later .Sitting in Library whole day from College gossip like who seeing whom ,rating girls in library , Who is trying for whom ,To solving each other doubt .we had done it all .how can I not miss those MISAL Pav in canteen during lunch time or Trip to near by Tapri for Parle G Biscuit & chai . .Ashutosh was real advisor always putting thing in perspective .But we had lots of fun moment in between those marathon sessions at library which eventually inspired us to have the career we have today. We have seen worst movies together PINJAR & KYONKI to name few .but we still have a good laugh about it .Even today he forgets my birthday each year only to call days later to wish me a belated birthday .but he is truly genuine and with no pretences just like me .we makes us stuck for soo long

Chetan and I have seen all the movies we can .at the time of multiplex pricing and limited pocket money we used to reach 9 AM show at Fame .every Sunday .Spiderman series, Garfield, and what not .he is not romantic movie fan like me .So we have seen all off beat movies together mostly English . Even today whenever we need to catch up on something and need company , we always call each other from Bryans Adams live concert to IPL cricket Match We have time for all these even in the busiest schedule .Yes, our Bangkok trip is pending for the long hope we get through it somehow.

Just after I completed my CA I met Pallavi Hardas , Pallu as I call her. We meet during GMCS and subsequently, she joined same company .Viz Tata Motors .We never looked back . We use to chat whole day via mail and call each other so often. I remember when she left a job for doing MBA, She used to send me her assignment with a note I need a solution in 10 mins, she used to receive it in 5 mins flat . Whenever I was in Mumbai we used to meet .I used to land up at her house and never felt like an outsider .Whenever there is puranpoli at her home ,I would be the invitee . My almost two years in Lucknow was soo bearable because of her .Even today when we call each other we start off on same note We don’t need any assurance about the bond we share with each other .

Moving to Mumbai from Lucknow was joyful as I was moving with my family. But I didn’t know what’s in store at Mumbai office .It was Awesome two years at Tata s Thane office many were responsible for it I am not naming them all here .But I cant leave out three special people .First is Aarthi Mahuli .She snapped at me on my very first day at Mumbai office .In spite of sitting next to each other for a whole month, I didn’t speak to her. But finally we did and soo much so that .it was like we come to office just to chat with each other .We managed to chat just below our BOSS nose literally (Yes his cabin was just opposite our cubicle ).There were people trying to change our seat just to stop our chat but we didn’t relent .Two Geminis are a too good combination .From love & life stories to career advice we shared it all and in envy of most people in office .

Next on this list have to be Mr.Varun Malhotra , the Aamir khan ,the joke box, Bhavana, Sardar , khotta …that few of various names we call him .He will be on Thane office account team everybody list .he have to be for such joy full atmosphere he creates .He is semi Baba Ramdev sometime starts his Gyan Vardak session . But we need some gyaan in our life even if it becomes unbearable due to weird logic he put to it .Only one who can get ways after calling me, egoist .But very difficult to get angry with him and almost impossible to have a fight with .I know he will have some gyaan on this as well .

The third one is my favourite Megha Doshi .Why I say my favourite becoz she is one I admire the most simply for her ability to bear all nonsense I put her through with a smile on her face. I have got angry ,fought on the silliest thing with her .complained about each and everything mostly her busy schedule and her workaholic nature .but she is superb how she manages to be soo dedicated is above my understanding . Gumsum (That’s what I call her ) is super sporty .I really miss irritating her these days but I try my best to do so whenever I get time.

And last but not least on this list is my Judwa friend Anuja More .I met her as part on my current assignment at JSW .We became a friend in strangest of the way as we didn’t become a friend when most likely but when we were most unlikely .That’s long story which only both of us can understand .We chat, we fight, we complain, get angry. then manavfy each other ,make each other smile ,we do it all but we can’t be away from each other for too long . I share everything with her . She knows all the things which even my closet people do not know. With her, I can go on and on like even whole book can't be enough . In short, she is My bestest friend .

Sorry for all those who missed out ,but it is my take on all relationship I had who have made a difference in my life .I like to double this list as fast as I would .

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Office Office .....

Every office has a different work environ but the kind of people working for any given office can be broadly categorised into smaller groups, or let’s call them species.

Ramta Jogi types :

Every office have workers who are never at their workstation. They owe their nomadic existence to their outgoing personality and work-phobia. Chances are high that you will find them hovering around their colleagues’ desk discussing the latest bollywood release or a recently opened restuarant..High Chances are of finding them with pretty girls in office who have ample time on hand . Don’t be surprised if you find them mingling with colleagues of different departments sitting across different floors in your skyscraper office.They are most popular creatures will be help full I case you need any information

“Look I m here” types :
They consider office as their fashion aisle where they can catwalk and display their latest purchase. You will find them greeting colleagues who are not even looking at them! Fashionistas have enough free time to tell you (whether or not you want to listen) about their favourite shopping destination and favourite brands. They happen to spend ‘quality time’ with themselves in the rest rooms touching make up and adjusting their fashionable.. If you have women colleagues who have pierced their eyebrows, wear anklets, high-heels and have treated hair, you know which category they belong! Fashionista guys are happy flaunting their goatee and pony tails.

Office Furniture
Looks like they are a part of the office since the First War of Independence. For them, attending office is a routine activity. Just like they brush their teeth every morning, they have been taking the same mode of transport for years to reach their place of dwelling, the office. They are least interested in the dynamics of the job scenario, and the only change they wish is perhaps a flat screen computer in place of their P-I processor. They sport a ‘been-there-done-that-attitude’. And, their ‘years of experience’ makes them the knowledge database for company policies. They eat, drink and breathe work. Believers of ‘work is worship, they are always overloaded with work. You will seldom find them away from their workstations. If they manage to look away from their computer screens, you will find them muttering “I-have-so-much-to-do!” A huge sigh, and they are back at it again. To heighten the effect, they usually go for lunch after the lunch-hours and pretend to leave office only when the security guards are ready to push them out.

Mr. Help Desk
Whether you want to book tickets ,order pizza , go to bank absolutely anything he is the man you have to contact .this is the help full character will arrange the things for you in no time .he will be knowing all ways & means how thing are to be done .

Comedian /Humorist
This Person will be star at lunch table/ office party whose company you always enjoy . Always see him mingle with all kinds of people making them laugh all the time.most popular creature in the office .person with maximum friends .

Gossipers
They are experts in making a mountain out of a mole. While they pretend they are buried under deep work, they keep a track of all the developments in the office that includes who is going around with whom, who is boss’s favourite and who is going to be promoted or re-located. Their area of interest is not limited to office politics and re-shuffling. Gossip is idle talk or rumour, especially about the personal or private affairs of others. Gossipers can spend hours discussing a colleague’s troubled marriage, weird eating habits or dressing-sense.
These can be Ramta Jogi Types & Vice –versa .
Freshers
Poor souls on earth, you can easily spot freshers in any office. They carry a confused expression and find themselves ‘lost-in-translation’ from the luxurious confines of the college campus to the ultra competitive and fast-paced workplace environment. Perplexed with what they see around in their new office, they try hard to walk, talk, think and behave like their experienced team members. They are the bakras for every team and find themselves working hard to please their superiors. No surprises, in their attempt to perform well, they end up becoming boss’s pet.
Visiting Faculty
When the ‘visiting faculty’ is at work, you will find them spending half their time in greeting their colleagues and the rest giving explanation about their sickness, vacation, unavailability or busy schedule. Before they settle down to do some ‘work’ it’s time for them to call it a day. And who knows when next you will see them at work!this people are in marketing / Corporate communications /PR etc .no body know where are they at any point in time even their bosses .
Rudali type
Just manage to ask them how are you . they will tell you 100 ‘s of reason why working in this company is a bane you should leave this Job as soon as Possible .They will crib about Profile , culture , colleagues, Food in canteen , lift , coffee machine, printer , Boss even peons & watchmens.
Mostly these people are those who would nt find Job else where .will cite other reasons for working here . They will give Office Politics are major reason for the disadvantegious position they are in .they will blame everybody else for all the suffering they had in organization .
Freshers will be receiving end of their brabs most of the time .

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LIfe is Journey .not a Destination..........

You will never know what the total cost of your education was, but for a lifetime you will recall and relive the memories of schools and colleges. Few years from now, you will forget the amount you paid to settle the hospitalization bill, but will ever cherish having saved your mother's life or the life you get to live with the just born. You won't remember the cost of your honeymoon, but to the last breath remember the experiences of the bliss of togetherness. Money has no memory. Experience has.Good times and bad times, times of prosperity and times of poverty, times when the future looked so secure and times when you didn't know from where the tomorrow will come... life has been in one way or the other a roller-coaster ride for everyone. Beyond all that abundance and beyond all that deprivation, what remains is the memory of experiences. Sometimes the wallet was full...sometimes even the pocket was empty. There was enough and you still had reasons to frown. There wasn't enough and you still had reasons to smile. Today, you can look back with tears of gratitude for all the times you had laughed together, and also look back with a smile at all the times you cried alone. All in all, life filled you with experiences to create a history of your own self, and you alone can remember them all.The first time you balanced yourself on your cycle without support... The first time she said 'yes' and it was two years since you proposed... The first cry... the first steps... the first word... the first kiss... all of your child... The first gift you bought for your parents and the first gift your daughter gave you... The first award... the first public appreciation... the first stage performance... And the list is endless... Experiences, with timeless memory... No denying that anything that's material cost money, but the fact remains the cost of the experience will be forgotten, but the experience never.So, what if it's economic recession? Let it be, but let there not be a recession to the quality of your life. You can still take your parents, if not on a pilgrimage, at least to the local temple. You can still play with your children, if not on an international holiday, at least in the local park. It doesn't cost money to lie down or to take a loved one onto your lap. Nice time to train the employees, create leadership availability and be ready for the wonderful times when they arrive. Hey! Aspects like your health, knowledge development and spiritual growth are not economy dependent.Time will pass... economy will revive... currency will soon be in current... and in all this; I don't want you to look back and realize you did nothing but stayed in gloom. Recession can make you lose out on money. Let it not make you lose out on experiences... If you are not happy with what you have, no matter how much more you have, you will still not be happy.Make a statement with the way you live your life: How you feel has nothing to do with how much you have....................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Love letter ...........

I still remember the day when I first saw u .You were wearing Green Top blue jeans .That day we didn't talk much .In coming 7 days we spent with each other were most special day in my life Whole day we spent sitting beside each other & took Journey back home together. Every day when you left me on that junction with promise to call me back when you reach home .I eagerly waited for that miss call ,which you hardly made .I always felt that nights were getting longer & longer .As I just wanted to night would disappear faster as I will be with you again in the morning. When those seven days ended I missed you very much .


I also collected those post it notes which you had marked out in files those were my way of being close to you when you are not around Unfortunately I lost them some where. .And then I can go on and on. I remember your "I will call you back "whenever I called you .I remember those call disconnection whenever we chatted .I remember all SMS you sent me .I remember those "Are You Angry on me?" SMS & mails. I remember your “I am so sorry” every know & then. I remember those we will meet some day promise .I have never spoken to someone on phone so much as I have spoken with you .i have never flirted with some one like I have done with you .I simply hate talking on phone I have lost out on many friends just because of this but when it comes to you there is always an exception in my life .I have stored all your SMS & Mails and read them whenever I miss you very much. All this while I always wanted to meet you many times that only because I wanted to know you better but you never gave me that chance .So today thought thru his letter i want to share how I feel about you .

I adore you!! You are the most wonderful woman I have met . You make me feel loved and worthy of love. So many times I thought I would never find someone to love me the way I needed to be loved. Then you came into my life and showed me what true love really is! I have missed much in life because I did not have a companion. You are the companion that I have wanted for so long. You are the woman that I long to share life's adventures with. You are the friend that I can share my innermost secrets with. You are a loving and supportive friend to me. I strive to be a loving and supportive friend to you. I long to help you carry life's burdens and lovingly encourage you as you stretch out to be all that you can be. I love to sit across the couch from you. I love to send you beautiful flowers I Give you those romantic gifts .Love to talk to you whole day about absolutely nothing .long to share the intimacy of talking from the heart. I feel that I have had so much love to give and that it has been bottled up inside me for so very long. No one has been interested in opening the bottle and seeing what was inside. You inspire and fully embrace the romantic man inside me. You are the woman that I long to love until the end of my days.

You asked in the "You know u r in love when " e-mail who is the girl of my dreams. I haven't seen anything that tells me you are not The One. I am quite taken with you. I am fully aware that someday you may decide to shoot me down in a blaze of glory. I understand that. You may have a romantic interest in some else that requires ending the romantic possibilities with me. I accept that If that were to happen, that would be very, very difficult for me. I understand the risks and rewards of going forward may be huge. I am far more worried about losing out because I didn't open myself up to you than being hurt because I did. I have made my decision; I am willing to take my chances

There may be hundreds of reason why you & I can not be together and I accept that .but what we need is just one reason to be together that enough for us. If we see each other same way if we think this is the person who will be with you till end of his life .then all other things in life becomes irrelevant .Some things in life can not be changed .but together we can change the world .We need to give this a chance. Every things has its pro & cons .So think how much we can gain, rather then what will we lose. Many Times when we look back in our life we feel had we done something else , then our life would have been something else .So in future when you look back at this decision in life we will not have right to think had if I had done something else ,If you never gave it a chance We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love
I just want from you is to give this relationship a chance .lets see how this turns out to be .Unless & until we know each other well. We will never be sure about each other. So please give this relation ship a chance it deserves.
Today I Just wanted to say that have been said by many people over the years and they were happy ever after today is my day. I know you can be very very angry with me .Also you may not talk with me from now on .Still you will always be same person to me no matter what you decides. Hope our relationship do change after this but only in a better way .Hope We Enjoy our life together Forever …….Hamesha wala Forever ….H0pe you remember this day ...... Throught your life .Remember this Date .......like I Do .......

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