Dear Cupid , Next Time Hit Us Both

How much you feel for someone? My guess is the best  judge of your fondness is when irrespective of their behavior your feelings don’t change.It's ultimate test.

This is how I feel for you.When I say 'I love you'. I love your temper. I love your possessiveness, I love you “out of bed” look, I love to see you without makeup. I love when you scold me.I love your desperate calling when I  don’t pick up the phone. I love the irritated voice after your 15 miss calls.I love when you tell me to shut up. I love when you scold me for getting   you the wrong burger or a coffee. I love when you ask me to dress properly.I guess this moment shows your love more than moments when you say 'I love you'.

You ask me, why I love you so much when I really don’t know you? I think there is a beauty of loving unknown and without reason. If I know everything about you and then I love by  judging you. I am categorizing you.I am weighing you how you fit in my life will you disturb my current life or you will compliment my life.I will know if your are talkative or your are silent . or you are fashionable or simpleton. Your are ambitious or homely. Whether you love books or you love movies,Is it love or a compromise?.I judge you, analyze you and then decide if we can gel our life together.In another case  I love you  because I think you are kind or you are compassionate towards the cause. Whether you are kind hearted or selfish .Do we need a check list? Arent we then stereyo typing people .And does this Check list make my love unconditional. if tomorrow I display any of the qualities which do not gel with your idea of me? then will you still love me. "You have changed" is common complaint.  Rather it's an image you created in your perception or the image I want to show you to fit in your criteria .Either way the reality will strike one day  So I love you irrespective  whether you fit in my check list .I don’t care if you are moody or un funny  or rude or bitchy.I love for how you make me feel.

I have gathered all the flowers in my heart  to give  you, you know my heart smiles every time I see you smile. Life becomes more meaning full.I don’t get  sleepless I  want to sleep and dream about you. Because in my dream you are just mine. all your time is just for me. All your smiles are  just for me. I wake up to happy dream.Inthat sense you truly are my dream girl.

'There are no good guys around' You say many times. What is the 'Good' guy? I have only one definition of a good girl.Girl who makes my heart sing a romantic ballad. Someone I can't take my eyes off. You are the most beautiful girl for me and I just cant help it and love you. Even when my brain asks me is she a good girl.I don’t know what my  brain is talking about . But It does not mater, this is the girl who makes my heart beat faster who make my lips dry. The girl who makes my eyes pops out.'You are blind, she has blank face without any expression' said the Friend. 'See her from my eyes' I told them.

All my friends  discourage me a lot .'She does not even look at you' they say many times .My love is without an expectation My love is not based on ifs and buts.I love her for a smile even if that smile is not for me.I love her for the twinkle in her eyes even when a spark is because of someone else. I know she hates me because I like her but I cant simply help to like her.The fall is gradual.I am not expecting anything. She gets upsets by this fact. She thinks me as a threat.I try to withdraw myself from her even when it pains me. I don’t want her to feel threatened. I will never  do something which embarrasses her.  She still sees me with enraged eyes.'You should get over her '  they advised. How do you get over Someone who  you never really dated?  When all I want is her happiness.I don’t know If my presence trouble her.But I try my best not t trouble her . I don’t try to talk to her anymore .I let her be. It's her indifference that  makes me sadder.

What more I can do to make you feel better?.I am on your side girl . I defend you against their barbs or am i just consoling myself .There will be the  day when you decide to shoot me down to glory I will still care for you.I don t know if you think of me at all. Am I one of many blinking stars in the sky when I want to be the moon of your life.Am I among thousand of flowers in the valley when I want to be a single daisy in your vase. Will you miss me when I am gone? Probably you won't. If I met you somewhere else hereafter  will you recognize me?  Probably not. What if my heart still beat faster and my lips still when dry and my feet will invariably fumble and my eyes would not control my emotions. But don't worry I won't tell anyone that  it was love that was not meant be. I won't even tell them that you didn't care for my feelings for you.I will tell them I was not a good guy.I will tell them I just didnt make your heart beat faster. I don’t really know why I am still hoping for something that is not meant to be .My only request  is Dear Cupid , Next Time Hit us Both